Moving on...

LOOK AT MY AMAZING FAMILY! HOW BLESSED AM I?

So finally i feel like i can move on. I finally am dealing with my issues with Guy. It has hung with me this hatred like a sack of potatoes on my back. It is hard hating someone so much. Not to mention everytime someone yells or gets mad I have to wonder. Abuse does strange things to a person who thought they were so strong. I realized I am not I am quite fragile. Which was so hard for me. I am not unbreakable. So Instead of dealing with thta after my divorce I turned it into constructive hate. Heres the thing I love Michael so so so much and my family and my girls. And I would have never had those things being married to him. So I didn't want that luggage anymore. Michael always supports me he said if you need to fly there and confront him you do that. He knows how profoundly that abuse changed my life. So my solution email him (much cheaper a solution). I didn't care about his response just needed to get it out told him he didn't even have to read it I was doing it for me. I never got that closure to tell him how what he did affected me so badly. So I did. and of course he responded. He was quite plesant. I wont share the email, but it was nice. i finally feel free of all of that. Free to continue on with my life happy and healthy with my family. I have to believe the awful things he did to me always come back to that person. I pride myself on being a good person espceially to others and I maintain that no matter what some man did to me. I am strong.

I can't believe August will be 4 years married. WoW! We have the most amazing two daughters. Hee thinks we need more, my body disagrees. I can't to see who they are in life. I hope to inspire them and help them to be strong women also. LIfe is good, its too short, but it is so good.

Harumph!

I think Dr. Seuss said it best in "OH the places you will go" when he said, "I'm sorry to say sobut, sadly, it's trueand Hang-upscan happen to you.You can get all hung upin a prickle-ly perch.And your gang will fly on.You'll be left in a Lurch.You'll come down from the Lurchwith an unpleasant bump.And the chances are, then,that you'll be in a Slump."
A slump huh.... I guess that's true. but in the end I choose to go and move my mountain. Life sometimes isn't easy but its the only one we have. I have endured so many hardships in my life and I am so proud to have the two most amazing daughters in the world. It's like Martina McBrides song, In my daughters eyes...its true I know who I want to be and need to be for them. I can't expain the love the endless depths that I would go to for them, anyone who is a mother can attest to that. I often wonder if men feel the same way as mothers do, do they love their children the same way, not to say that they don't love them, but do they love them like we do? Life is full of many questions and unanswered prayers, but my children are the greatest gift in the whole world. When I die I want my children to remember me as a strong woman who never gave up, loved them more than life, and was the best mother that I could be. The rest is irrelevant. How much money I make, or how big my house is doesnt matter. Anyhow it's late and I need to go to bed, it isn't easy getting out of a lurch, but indeed its true I will, I always do.

Today is your day!Your mountain is waiting.So...get on your way!