memories

I was just thinking back on the last almost 5 years, being married to MIchael and my two beautiful daughters. They are so amazing. I cant believe Hannah is going to be 4 soon. It really seems like just yesterday. It has been the best 4 years of my life having her in it. I never knew what i was missing till she was here. Then there is m sweet spunky little Isabella. What a child. Every minute of the last 9 months has been better than I could have ever imagine. Hannah is the BEST big sister, the sweetest and most caring of big sisters. Isabella is so enamored with Hannah. She would follow her, and does, anywhere. I am so blessed to have them as my children. I love their little faces, their smell, their laughs. I love everything about them.

Anyhow so LOTS coming up. We are leaving next Friday for North carolina for a week mini vacation to see family. Then we come back and its Hannahs birthday, then Easter, and my Bella Boone turns 1....SO much happening in the next 2 months. Exams, midterms. Ahhh...I will be so happy when my B.A. is done. Well have to run cleaning the house Michaels mom is going to be here tomorrow haven't seen her in like 4 years.

Personal Victory

"In reading the lives of great men, I found that the first victory they won was over themselves...self-discipline with all of them came first.”  Harry Truman

Ok even though the above quote is a bit sexist to the men, i feel like I am trying really hard to be self-disciplined and finally get a victory. I have been struggling with my weight since I had Hannah, then Isabella. Although I wouldnt trade it for all the six packs in the world I am still left with a csection scar and a lot of extra weight. I have finally decided to do something about it and stop letting it run my life I am gonna run it. It is gonna take a LOT of work but I finally feel like i am at a place in my life that I am ready to take that step and make the change. I think that I need to stop complaining and just get started on it. Life for me has been a series of many set backs and many victories, I am ready to conquer something else. I know in the end that the damage has been done, but its worth the change and not just for me but for my kids. I want them to ahve a healthy lifestyle to know that Big Macs and burgers are not the way to a healthier lifestyle. It for us is a convience thing we are so busy a lot of times we fall back on fast food, but it isn't a crutch anymore its a wheelchair. So lets make changes. Lets start today.

purpose

John F. Kennedy wrote, "Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction." But what happens when your efforts are railroaded and your direction is suddenly changed? There are always winds of change upon us, and like a leaf that gusts into the wind their paths are full of turmoil their course is unknown you just always hope where ever that leaf is traveling ends up in that pond that's in the pictures. Although the wind was rough it found that tiny little leaf a soft spot to land. I suppose one could find a metaphor in about everything in life, but I think this quote speaks volumes.

Life is full of windy gusts, but I think as long as you have your soft spot to land you will end up bruised but not broken. Maybe that's why I have been so lucky my whole life. I have had a lot of wind, on occasion even a tornado, but I always come back to my soft spot. For me my soft spot are my babies. I have had such a long week but its the nights this week that have provided me with comfort, and direction. i remember my purpose in life when I am laying in bed Hannah is holding my hand and we fall asleep, her chest up and down in and out. Isabella every smile on that adorable sweet little face reminds me that my purpose in life is to love them unconditionally and smother them in bushels and pecks. Effort and courage are not enough, but when you have such an amazing place to fall back to it makes all the wrong turns lead you back to the right direction.


My life has been filled with lumps and bumps, heartache, and happiness but I think my whole direction or purpose is leading me to the best years of my life, respectively. My journey has lead me to find out the person I am (even though i still have a lot of growing to do) and who I want my children to remember me for. That old saying about whose coming to your funeral and what will they say about you...some people say who cares I'm dead, but great people are the ones who are remembered, their stories are reverberated throughout time and sometimes what they do and say or who they were means more after death to the people still around. I want Justin Beiber to come to my funeral and sing...not! Find your path or your direction but fall a lot on the road its what makes the end resolve that much sweeter. The end is just as important as how you got there