Chin up, chin up
everybody loves a happy face
wear it, share it
it'll brighten up the darkest place
Twinkle, Sparkle
Let a little sunshine in
You'll be on the right side,
Looking at the bright side
up with your chinny chin chin
So I guess thats how I am feeling. I am so tired on the inside, but know that I just need to keep smiling. I don't think a lot of people talk about after the baby, but I am here to tell you it is a roller coaster. Your homones drop off like a cliff not to mention I already have a thyroid that is underactive and doesn't function. With that I started off with BAD baby blues, not because I don't love my kids, but it was a feeling I am not doing enough for them, I am neglecting one if I am with the other...this went on for a while. Now I have this anxious feeling like I am not sure I know what I am susposed to be doing. I don't like it I am a planned, organized on the go person. I think since I have had the baby I have had like 2 naps and even they were interuppted. I keep telling Michael I just want to feel like myself again. i try to be the least lazy person I know and it is killing me to feel like I am not doing or being enough. I think this time around is a lot harder than with Hannah probably because I have two and i have an overwhelming guilty feeling. I know this will get better, but I just keep wondering when. I have a very supportive husband and great kids. I just wish there was a cure all pill that would make me me again. Who am I if I am not me? Maybe I need 5 classes again and a plate full of things to do then I would feel more normal. Not that I have ever been completly normal :) So buyer beware! this making kids stuff doesn't come without pause, and really hard work. I love them so much. I told Michael how do I know I will love her I love Hannah so much it is unfathomable to think I could love another the same way. He jokes about it like the Grinch my heart grew two sizes that day. HA HA! But it really did. And I love them both more than I can put into words. I am just adjusting. Oh well I was just venting. throwing it out into cyber space. Love you guys.
So I guess thats how I am feeling. I am so tired on the inside, but know that I just need to keep smiling. I don't think a lot of people talk about after the baby, but I am here to tell you it is a roller coaster. Your homones drop off like a cliff not to mention I already have a thyroid that is underactive and doesn't function. With that I started off with BAD baby blues, not because I don't love my kids, but it was a feeling I am not doing enough for them, I am neglecting one if I am with the other...this went on for a while. Now I have this anxious feeling like I am not sure I know what I am susposed to be doing. I don't like it I am a planned, organized on the go person. I think since I have had the baby I have had like 2 naps and even they were interuppted. I keep telling Michael I just want to feel like myself again. i try to be the least lazy person I know and it is killing me to feel like I am not doing or being enough. I think this time around is a lot harder than with Hannah probably because I have two and i have an overwhelming guilty feeling. I know this will get better, but I just keep wondering when. I have a very supportive husband and great kids. I just wish there was a cure all pill that would make me me again. Who am I if I am not me? Maybe I need 5 classes again and a plate full of things to do then I would feel more normal. Not that I have ever been completly normal :) So buyer beware! this making kids stuff doesn't come without pause, and really hard work. I love them so much. I told Michael how do I know I will love her I love Hannah so much it is unfathomable to think I could love another the same way. He jokes about it like the Grinch my heart grew two sizes that day. HA HA! But it really did. And I love them both more than I can put into words. I am just adjusting. Oh well I was just venting. throwing it out into cyber space. Love you guys.
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